Today I was shocked what my neice decided to do with her life. When she was just a baby my parents took care of her. When we moved here to lived we got her to lived with us and we then sent her to a very nice school. Well, when she moved out last year and stayed with a classmate. The brother of the classmate got her pregnant. Well it was a shocked to us that when she came back to see us she had baby already. Bob and I gave her second chance, we let her worked at our business and we are also babysitting the child. We told her to save up the money that we paid her from working with us so that in a year or so she can go back to school and finish up her nursing degree. We even offer to help her take care of the baby. Few days ago Bob offered her to let her work more hours so that she could earn more. Yesterday she e-mailed Bob and told him that she is not interested to work anymore. She was upset that we told her that she should work extra hard now to support the baby if she wants to give the baby good life. I think she was just shock why we are not giving her or sending her back to school like before. My goodness she really defy us before when we told her to stay in school and study, instead she went out and party and got drunk. She would tell us that she went to her classmates house to work on their projects, we believed on what she told us. We never thought that she could do what she did, drinking and lying to us. Now she still expects us to just hand her the money for her to go back to school now! Not gonna happen. I really thought she has learned her lessons when she moves out before, I guess not. We felt she’s still immature.
All of us here felt sorry for the baby. My neice just doesn’t know yet how to take care of the baby. Could be she’s just too lazy. Honestly we hope that the father of the baby will let my neice go back to school so that when she finish up her degree she will have a good job. We haven’t meet him yet because he is too chicken to come and see us. My heart ached for the baby, but I can’t be responsible for her. My neice is already old enough to know what she was doing. She needs to learn her lesson that we are not gonna be her wallet anymore. She just used us to get ahead and not even thankfull of what we did for her.
About feyma
Sorry to hear about your neice Feyma, but I have a question, it may sound stupid, but why do these young people have kids, if they cannot afford them ? I am suprised at your young neice, and then they have baby to bring up, I wonder how long the boy will be around ?
Best wishes
Peter
That is very unfortunate and sad choice making, isn’t it? This is why I told my sister and her daughter (which I sent to college) that my condition on her education is good grades and diploma. IF she can’t produce that performance then can’t sent her(niece)to college. This is also what I did with our youngest brother( tried to take Education). Unfortunately he didn’t pass his first semester. He has a learning disabilitiy coupled with his vices(always drunk). Although he did try to stop his vices when I sent him to school but he has a hard time learning&studying. Unfortunately too he chose Education which I suggested and hoped that he will do gourmet or autmotive courses due to his learning disabiltiy. He does not like the the vocational courses so he ended up dfropping Education
. Now his back to drinking vices which is unfortunate but a situation that is not in our hands anymore. I’m with you on ” we can’t be responsible with them forever”. Hope your niece will make a wise decision in the future.
That is so hard for you! I think you are really doing the right thing by letting her live with the consequensces of her foolish choices. Too often people think that if an irresponsible person is given enough ‘help’ they will change, but some people only learn the hard way. Maybe in the future you will be able to do something for that baby of hers. I understand how heartbreaking it is to make a choice like this, but you are doing the best thing for her!
Who would not get hurt of what she did? You guys were helping her a lot.
this is a very difficult situation for any person…having a child whether you are married or not is a life altering experience for the mother…I hope the situation will get better than worse for all those involved
Hi Pete- Honestly,Bob and I wonder that too. I told my niece at one time why not use any birth control stuff? She’s so irresponsible. She’s mad at me for telling her that. She blames us for what happen to her, but her and my family knows that everything was her chices. Bob gave her so many options though. Oh, well she’s out in my life now. I think I let go of her now.
Thanks for your comment Pete. I appreciate very much. Thanks for the support.
Hi Mahdy- Good that you told your sister and your niece what you wanted. Yeah on your brother that was a sickness that he needs help to get rid of. You can’t really force him to study.
We really gave my niece some good choices, but she chose the wrong one though. We can’t be responsible for that. She knows now that I’m not gonna be here always to lend a hand.
Hope your niece will really finish school. It’s hard even here in the Philippines to find job.
Good luck to you. Thank you for your nice comment.
Hi Luanne – I already can see that she’s changing when she came back. She was gone for over a year, didn’t see her even once at that time. I think when she came back she still had in mind that everything will just be the same as before. It’s not gonna be like that anymore. She will boss around my people especially our helper.
Bob and I just wanted to help her so that her and the baby can have good future. She take it in a negative way. Oh, well it’s her life. Bahala siya.
Hi Glenda – Thank you for the support. Your there when she made the choices. You even advice her to think hard because it’s hard to find job here in the Philippines. She thought that her best friends would be there all the way. You and I know, she told us that the best friends she was referring too dump her after a week away from us. She has no money to hang out with them anymore. What a wonderful friends she had. Don’t you think?
Hi Dee – I really hope for the best for my niece and the baby. I really felt sorry for the baby. I just hope that the father of the baby will be there always. I hope the guy will send her back to school. I doubt on that. He wants us to pay for that when she came back to work for us.
Anyway, thank you for your nice thoughts for us. I really appreciate very much.
yes i know how u feel as my wifes sisters girl was just 16 and was preg i dontknow what happend with her baby or what but it is so sad to see girls that are not working but yet not over school fulling preg god help them thanks for a good webe page god bless to u all here
from peter martin
Hi peterjoy – I know what you mean. A lot of the girls nowadays just don’t want to be responsible. They really want to blamed the people that helped them. It’s really a sad situation for us. That niece of mine stayed with us since almost birth but now she didn’t even say thank you to the people that helped her, instead she blamed all of us that helped her. She made her choice and she’s pretending to be happy. Really at the end, Me and Bob also made the decision to let go of those people that we loved and don’t love us in returned. We don’t want to be used anymore. Enough is enough. We moved on.
Good to see you again. Thank you for always reading our site.
Take care!
Hi Feyma: Similar situations providing for nieces and nephews, especially with college fees happened to my mother many years ago. Many Filipino individuals unfortunately feel entitlement with a relative in the U.S. who will help them. They go to school early on, then go with the barkada, start families without resources, drop out of school, and continue to asks for monetary assistance. At my mother’s funeral, not one of these nieces and nephews helped out. They attended the funeral, but all wanted for the helpers to wait on them. They added to the expenses for the funeral as they had a need for lodging, food, and asked for travel expenses. It is a dissappointing scenario in the Philippines, when all around examples of poverty are seen. My mother hoped that these young people would do something with their lives and help their families as well. (My parents retired in the Philippines.) It was hard on my mother (psychologically) as she was a very hardworking woman and hoped for the best for her family members.
Hi Roselyn – Wow, what a coincidence. It is really sad to have people like these in the family. They don’t even have the good attitude to say thank you for sending them to good school and giving them the food to eat and the place to lived. Very rude nieces. Really I just hope that none of them sells themselves just to earn a living.
Oh well, I’m over that we moved on and just hope that no other families are scammed by other members of their families too. I’m just glad that we opened our eyes now and don’t get scammed by them again and the rest of the family. It’s really a sad situations sometimes here in the Philippines.
Good luck to you and your family. Take care!