Death: A subject that’s mostly avoided in the household!

March 26, 2015 by feyma

Death: A subject that’s mostly avoided in the household!

I was just browsing the news here in the Philippines. I came across a story of a former actress that died due to cancer. Her hubby was interviewed and he really said that he is lost now after losing his wife. They’ve been married for more than 3 decades now. By the way, they got married at a very young age. So really, as if they both grow up and matured together. That’s the reason why they’re had a very close relationship.

It really got me thinking because she died still a fairly young age. When the husband said that “he is lost without her”. I can’t blame him for saying that statement. When we first came here to lived, I can really see Bob will say that similar lines, because I know that Bob will have a hard time surviving without me. I’m not exaggerating it but that’s just the truth with us. Bob would really get lost if I went ahead of him. Even my immediate family or his immediate family will say that too. They know because if I was out of the house for a few hours Bob will be antsy. I’m not sure if part of the reason because we never been apart for a long time (days) in the States before. He is used to having me at the house all the time. He works at home pretty much since the early years of our marriage. I’m happy to say that he is getting better about it now. For the past few years now he is good already.

Bob and Feyma at Lemlunay Resort in Sarangani

When I first arrived in the US, Bob and I really talked about death. At first it caught me off guard. When he explained to me that we have to talk about it since all my family lives far away from us. He has to know what do I want if something happened to me there. Do I want my body be shipped here or be buried there? I told him not to spend the money on sending my body here, I want to be buried there since at that time we’re living there. When we first moved here, that’s one of the things we talked about too. I asked him the same questions if something happened to him does he wants his body be shipped there, he said no need, he wants to be buried here. Our kids know that too.

Me and my friends were together for our summer party there. We talked about that similar subject. Some had the same reaction (the newbie there) as I had before, mostly that were already there for a long time were so open about talking about the topic. But it got all of us friends to open our minds when one of our friend died, she was hit by a car and died instantly. She lives just a few blocks away from us. Her son stayed at our house almost everyday to play with Chris. Luckily she already had a Will made. Everything went smoothly after she passed. She states in her Will that she wants to be cremated. It goes on the will that she wants her ashes be distributed in her property in Luzon, if I remember. Her husband and her son came to the Philippines to do what she said. Bob and I were lucky enough to be visited by her son when they came here.

Honestly, us that have kids we really had to talk and have a “Will” made by the lawyer. Really at the early age we should have it done. I think with the internet nowadays people are already open about death. It’s not taboo to talk about death anymore.

For you expats here in the Philippines, if something happen to you are you wanting to ship your body to the place you’re from? Or do you just want to be buried here? Is it important to you to be brought back to your birthplace? Feel free to say what you think.

Cheers!

March 19, 2015 by feyma

Happiness & sadness!

When you’re reading this post my son Aaron is on his way traveling to the USA. He started his journey last night (Wednesday). He left Davao at 10:15 pm, and arrived in Manila at a little after midnight. He will be in Manila for a few hours, then he will be starting his journey to the USA today Thursday (today) here in the Philippines. He will be arriving in Portland, Oregon (Thursday there in that part of the world) almost 24 hours after he left Manila .

This trip, it all started almost 2 years ago. My mother-in-law got seriously ill. Aaron at that time was just a few months shy of his high school graduation. Part of his high school graduation gift, Bob and I decided on sending him to the USA to see his grandma and bond with her. When we talked to Aaron about our plan, we got a big “NO” from him. So Bob and I didn’t push him, we just dropped the subject, sort of mentioning once in awile. 6 months after, Aaron decided that he was ready. He told us that he wanted to visit his granny by June. He was just few months shy of his 17th birthday. So we gathered lots of his papers for the travel plan. We found out that there was so much stuff to do for him since he will be traveling alone and underage. When we went to some Philippine government agency for some paper work, Aaron got frustrated. As usual everything was so slow. Just to get something you will be standing in line for literary hours at a time.

The many faces of Aaron Martin

He told us then that he wants to wait to travel after his 18th birthday. Less hassles. So after his 18th birthday, we then started gathering his papers. We went to Manila for his passport renewal from the US embassy. Apply some local paper work. Finally it was finished a few weeks ago. So we started looking for cheap tickets. We also thought that he will be traveling around the month of April or May. The tickets for April and May were much more expensive. When we tried to get good tickets, this week is really the best price ticket to travel already. Bob saw a cheap ticket a week or so ago. We thought that it will still be okay to wait. When we tried to book, it’s already full. Luckily we got another cheaper ticket. We got him a round trip ticket. He will be there for a little over 7 months. If he wants to extend he will try to re-book the ticket again for later return, which will incur a fee of course. I’m sure we will pay some for that.

He is really excited to go and see his Granny. It’s been a few years since he last saw her. They already made plans on what to do there. They will be seeing Bob’s extended family there from different States. This will be a good memory maker for both of them to last Aaron a lifetime. We know he will be okay there. This is Aaron’s first time ever being away from us for a long time. It will be hard for all of us here at the house and him too. But it will be good for him to experience and start a new life away from us. I’m not worried about it because he is in good hands with his Granny being there for him. Thank you Mother for taking Aaron and loving him. Bob and I really appreciate that very much.

To you my dear Aaron: Enjoy your stay with your Granny. Have fun exploring the land that you were born and grow up with until the time we left. Enjoy bonding with your cousins and family there. Don’t forget to see the people that we used to hangout with there before. We love you so much son. It’s going to be hard on all of us but we are so happy for you at the same time. Tears are flowing already from me hon while writing this post. I love you forever and beyond.

Message from Dad: Aaron, have a wonderful trip! This will be a big learning experience for you. The learning will start right away as you embark on your first time traveling alone, and it will continue as you get reintroduced to the land of your birth. I am sad to see you leaving, but I am also happy that you will go back to the USA and experience life there. I am happy that you can have some time to re-connect with my culture and with my side of the family. You are a good kid, and I love you dearly, son! Bon voyage!

March 12, 2015 by feyma

A big reminder to any traveler!

It’s been a big news here right now about a lady (Mary Jane) from here in the Philippines was on death row in Indonesia for drug trafficking a 2.6 kilo grams of heroin. Supposed to be she was just asked by a friend to carry that stuff for her. She must trusted that friend so much to carry that stuff for her. She’s paying the big price now (and her family too) for not asking the friend of what’s inside the package and for not opening the package in-front of the friend.

The family especially her kids begged the president here in the Philippines to help. I think right now the Indonesian government hold off the execution by firing squad because of the appeal of the Philippine government. The Philippine government hopes that the Indonesian government will sentence her to life imprisonment. Her 2 kids even traveled to Indonesia to visit her. I guess she was in jail already from early 2010.

Mary Jane in Court

Honestly, I’ve seen reality shows on TV about “Locked Up Abroad”. Really its similar to Mary Jane’s situation. Most of them, they were locked up for life, some were sentence to death. Others were also let go and sent home to the country they’re from. But it’s really seldom that will let go in jail just a few years, most of them were in jail for 10 or more years before they get freed.

I’m just hoping for the best for Mary Jane. If she’s innocent I hope she will get justice she mostly deserved. For the sake of her family especially her kids. But if she’s guilty, well, she should also be locked up I guess like those others. I know it’s hard, but she has to pay the consequences of her actions. I’m sure the person that sent that package probably washed her hands already and let Mary Jane be the fall guy. That would be hard on her, her freedom was taken in just a blink of an eye. I’m not sure if she’s being naive or just being stupid or being force to do it. Do you know of someone having similar situation with Mary Jane. Please feel free to share your thoughts.

I can really see Bob’s point before whenever we went home here for a visit here in the Philippines. If a friend would ask us to bring something for their family here. Bob would always tell me to get my friend’s stuff and we will be the one to pack in our suitcase. That we would not accept any sealed package that we don’t know what’s inside. Luckily my friends shared the same thoughts.

Now that Aaron is getting ready to go to the States soon. We are also telling him not to bring or even touch any package from anyone he will be meeting at the airport. We even told him to not be watching someone’s backpack or luggage at the airport (I guess just use common sense). He told us that he will be traveling light. He just wants a small backpack safely for his documents and a pair of clothes, extra shirt or two, maybe to change during the flight. He already talked to his Granny to prepare for a clothes shopping when he gets there. He told her that he is not bringing lots of stuff. He just doesn’t want to be hanging around too long time at the luggage claim area.

Good luck to everyone that’s traveling. Stay safe!

March 5, 2015 by feyma

Shopping: It’s more fun in the Philippines!

When I was growing up in the province of Malapatan, Glan (South Cotabato then, became Sarangani Province now), my mom would want to buy something for the household she goes to Dadiangas then (called GenSan now). The only big stores I mean like a small mall, at that time was Kimball Plaza (I think built in late 70’s), it burned down around 2002 and Datu Complex. I think Datu Complex was closed around that year or two after that too. Before the sad event, people were just so happy shopping there. Going to those places when I was a kid the place its always jam-packed. Just think about it, since that’s the only few malls in town. The people that were shopping there were the people from the nearest towns like Marbel, Polomolok, Kiamba and the other side of the bay Malapatan, Glan and the smaller towns, and of course the people of GenSan.

At around Mid 90’s, GenSan was the boom town and too many malls were being built. KCC was built and it’s packed with people that the business were in retail (geared more for sari-sari store). Now KCC built one of the fancy mall in GenSan “The Veranza Mall”. It’s really like the annex of the KCC mall. SM GenSan, I think is the nicest SM mall that’s built in Mindanao. It used to be GenSan was quiet after sundown. Nowadays as if the city never sleeps. I’m happy that GenSan improved a lot.

Felcris Centrale – A brand new mall in Davao

I could say the same thing with Davao city. When we first arrived here to live in 2002, Davao just had a few nice malls. Its a bit better than GenSan I should say . It’s just simple malls not fancy at all. It used to be that the small neighboring towns comes here to Davao city to shop. Nowadays, those little towns have malls of their own already too like Toril, Tagum and Panabo. Living here for a long time now, I can say that no need for us to be going special trip to Manila if you don’t really need a super fancy stuff. You can almost find anything you want here. If your wife want expensive and branded stuff you can almost always get that here, I think. If she wants those super expensive bags or shoes that the famous people use, then you might have to go to Manila, HongKong or other Asian countries. It’s not a problem too for flight, some airlines now fly from other cities here in the Philippines to other Asian countries.

Other parts of Mindanao malls were being built too. I’ve seen it advertise on TV or the malls here they showed of the branches they have all over the Philippines. For sure Gaisano Malls dominates Visayas and Mindanao. Here in Davao, we have few Gaisano malls (2 here in the downtown Davao, 2 in Toril, 1 or 2 in Tagum, 1 in Panabo). The main Gaisano here in Davao city, they improved that mall a lot to compete with the other malls. Now we have 2 SM malls herein the city. Here in Davao, just near to our house we have SM mall, NCCC mall, S & R Membership Store and the new one now that were just opened a week or two ago. It’s from Felcris. They also own Chimes mall. Their brand new mall is called Felcris Centrale.

Most malls have grocery stores, department stores, appliance center, restaurants, post office and other shipping courier, pet shops, bakery, payment center for your house bills, banks, ATM machines, government offices, play area for the kids, riding train for the kids, conference rooms, theaters and many more features.

Really shopping nowadays got even better. If you have the hang of it, use the internet to shop. You don’t have to fight the traffic. Send it to your place. Use LBC courier, they almost ship to any place in the Philippines. That I know because we use them for shipping for our business.

Have fun shopping!

February 26, 2015 by feyma

Paella & popcorn shrimp: with my little touch in it!

Just a few days ago we celebrated Bob’s birthday. As a tradition in our household we would ask the celebrant what would they want to eat for dinner. Bob told me that he will think for a few minutes, then he remembered the recipe he really likes that we saw on MKR (My Kitchen Rules Australia) show. Well, he then decided that he wants paella, we saw one of the contestant there cooked seafood paella. I had to make other food too because some of my kids would not eat seafood.

Bob, asked me if I think it would be easy to make paella. The recipe in the MKR was a little bit complicated. So I told him I will look it up in the internet for the recipe and let him know. I then told my daughter Jean and my niece Glenda that it’s Paella and popcorn shrimp for dinner. Jean is not really into seafood that much too. But since Dad wants that menu she’s happy to help me out.

Paella

I found a few good seafood paella recipe in the internet. I cooked the one that I know the chef. Good thing most of his ingredients I can find it locally. Few ingredients that I was lucking was the saffron and the Spanish rice. I’ve seen saffron on some stores here but they don’t have this time. My niece went all over the place and can’t find it. Maybe the “No shipment” and “The no stocks” is here again for sure. For the rice I just substitute with Japanese rice. It works out good too. For the clams I used mussels instead, since that’s what Bob preferred. Since it’s hard to get lobster in the market, plus its a bit expensive, I just put more of the prawns then. The calls for Spanish chorizo and it really adds flavors. I marinate the chicken with the spices the chef recommended, but he marinated his chicken for an hour. I marinated my chicken with the spices for half a day. The flavor were really good. At the end, I followed what he said to turn up the heat for 40 seconds to give toasted rice bottom, its called socarrat (dukot in Bisaya). You can really find good paella recipe that your family will enjoy and that will also suits your budget. If some of the ingredients were expensive, find some local substitute from your local grocery stores.

With the other recipe the popcorn shrimp. I made the batter from scratch. I even made my own heavy cream. Thank goodness for the google. Both recipe I tweak to suit more to our own taste. I think it works really good for us. Bob and us in the house seems to like it and so did our friend Bebe.

Talking about the popcorn shrimp. It’s rally a simple recipe too. I made some of the spices and save the rest for the next time uses. The popcorn shrimp on the other hand, we had to used small shrimp. The downside to it, the cleaning and deveining of the shrimp was a bit of work (we had to devein prawns for paella and shrimp for popcorn shrimp. But at the end its all worth it though. Everyone that likes seafood in our house loves it. I made some ingredients out from substitution. I saw heavy cream in the store. It not worth the money for me because I just need 2 tablespoon.

If ever you want the recipes of the paella and the popcorn shrimp that we made, Just let me know, I’m happy to email them to you.

Good eating you guys!