Dear Feyma: Feeling sorry!

January 8, 2015 by feyma

Dear Feyma: Feeling sorry!

Today, I have another installment in my “Dear Feyma” series which I have been featuring on this site for some time, whenever I have a question from a reader that I feel should be shared with the site readers.

“Dear Feyma, I am Filipina who works in Kuwait for a long time. I came home in the Philippines for 3 months now. I am not sure if I will go back soon. I am thinking of taking care of my 2 kids and want to start a business here. I saved some money for our future. I will help my husband on our small farm.

By the way, I am not writing regarding my problem. I want to share with you of how stupid or no nothing at all (walang kaalam-alam in Tagalog), I saw on TV, they said naive. I saw that you wrote about “A Friendly Advice“. I don’t comment, I’m just an avid reader of your blog. Keep up of what your doing.

The young girl, our neighbor she’s like 20 years old, having a relationship with foreigner. For me, okay lang. I am bothered when the lady takes all the money of the foreigner and spends it for partying and clothes. The foreigner told one of the family member that he don’t have much money, but the lady don’t listen, she continue her partying. Being young so she party and spend the money with not important things.

I read I think from your blog a long time already about foreigners problems with girlfriends here in Pinas? You know, if they know already problems like that happened before why they still give money to the girl?

I hope that foreigners open their eyes. Thank you for reading my email… Maraming Salamat, Elly“

Dear Feyma…

Thank you for writing Elly. To be honest, what you’ve described on your email keeps happening. The problem, the foreigners, no matter how good any blogs in the world were written about be very careful not to be scammed. Some foreigners will never listen, some won’t. We’ve been advising people that emailed and asked us and we even made lots of posts regarding that same topics. They will do what they thought was best for them. Later we found out that they’ve lost almost all their money. Really the best thing for those people would be for them to learn their lesson the hard way. It might be harsh for me to say this. Let them lose all what they have for them to learn. You know what I mean?

Hey, we’ve been advising certain foreigners that we cared about. It’s just a waste, they will say what the lady did to us and at the end he was against us because we said what we think. So for you Elly, if the foreigner wants an advice from you, try not to say anything to him at the end he might blame you because of the advice you gave him. Been there, done that. Been burnt. Not again…

That’s another cycle for the foreigner that’s hard to break. I just hope to some foreigners that they will just accept the loss and move on. Don’t be drinking and be violent here. Being in jail is the last thing a foreigner wants here. I’ve seen the jailhouse in the Philippines: Ain’t pretty you guys.

Thank you again Elly for the email. You open my Dear Feyma again. I appreciate your courage to write. If you ever travel to Kuwait again, have a safe trip there. Good luck to you!

Have a blessed 2015 Everyone!!!

December 24, 2014 by feyma

Going around different places in Mindanao with Santa!

I think everyone knows here already that Bob took a job from a cellphone company here to be a Santa for a few days from late November until mid December. That’s the reason why we celebrated our Thanksgiving earlier than it should be. The day that we usually celebrates, Bob was already on his first day of being a Santa. So we had to move our celebration ahead of time.

Bob went with his team for the first day of his job. The team leader told Bob that he could bring somebody from the house with him if he wants to. So the second day, Jean went with Bob and the team. Jean was really helpful. She helped Bob with the costume and helping taking lots of pictures. So important for the company to have lots of pictures. I could see that Bob really had fun talking to the kids and even with the adults. I went with him and his team to the out of town tours in General Santos, Koronodal and Kidapawan. Some days our daughter Jean went with Bob too in going to the malls here in the city and out of town. Jean went to Cotabato City and Kidapawan in addition to many malls in Davao City.

Jean posing with “Santa Dad” and “Santa’s Girl” (Merry Cris) in Kidapawan City

It was fun going and helping Bob. I went twice with him to GenSan. The first one there, we didn’t stay overnight. We came back the same day and it was exhausting, but watching Bob with kids, I think his exhaustion just fade away when he saw the smile of the kids and the parents. He really is good with talking to the kids and he would not leave the kids until all of them finished up taking pictures with him. Amazingly some people they want to take plenty of pictures with Santa. Some kids were happy to see Santa, some were just petrified seeing Santa. You could see some kids were just in horror when Santa held out his hand to pick them up.

My second trip to GenSan with the team and we went to other areas near there. On that trip we stayed overnight. You know, you could see that for some of the kids it was their first time seeing Santa. Honestly some of them they just don’t know how to react. They didn’t know if they would be scared or happy seeing someone in a costume. It really fascinates me watching them. In other areas, we saw a mother and a kid both were terrified seeing Santa. We could tell they were from the mountain. They went to that mall to shop, then on the front door here comes Santa and his helper giving away something. We could see the fear in their eyes. Luckily Santa’s helper know how to distract their fears by giving something right away.

Feyma with Santa’s Crew in Kidapawan City

Santa with his Special Child friend

In one of the malls (in Koronodal City) we saw a special child. Bob really got him and he had lots of picture with that young man. I think the parents think that we might not want their kid because he’s different. They were shocked that we asked them if it’s okay to give something to their kid and have pictures. They were really happy that we took the time to show we care to their son. We told them that we also have a child that has special needs. They ‘re just so happy that we understood their child.

The Lady who really wanted a picture with Santa

Towards at the end of Bob’s job, a lady made a request from me that if she could have photo with Santa. Problem she doesn’t have camera. I told her it’s okay, I will have her picture taken and I will send the photo to the cellphone company there in her area that Bob was hired and she will just pick it up there. She hardly goes there but I told her I will have someone I know give to the store and make sure she will have it. She really told me that she really wants the photo with Santa to show to her neighborhood that she saw the real Santa. Real Santa because Bob is a foreigner. My heart really goes out to her.

Anyway, I could go on and on about our trips. It was really fun and amazingly good seeing so many kids and adults loves to have pictures taken with Santa. To see more photos go to Santa in the Philippines.

Have a Happy Holiday Everyone. Have a Prosperous year ahead!!!

December 18, 2014 by feyma

Banking days during the holiday season through early next year!

Well, Christmas is just around the corner. Just got done helping Bob with his gig as the Santa for one of the companies here in the Philippines. Now, we are getting so busy with our other on-line businesses, which means we are needing cash for every time we go to buy what we need for the orders. So it means to say also that I had to go make a trip to the bank or ATM (automated teller machine) here. We do have local and international cards.

I just saw someone posting something on Facebook about the banking days here in the Philippines during the holidays. Looking at it, it didn’t look good though. For us anyway who depend on our income through the ATM. From December 23 to January 4, theirs just 1 day that the banks will be open. The rest of the days were weekends and paid holidays that were declared by the government. My gosh for us people that live through ATM it will be a problem. They might not (likely they won’t) put enough money in the ATM machine, or keep it refilled during the holidays. I’ve seen too many people in line for it. During the holidays I’m pretty sure nobody will fill the machine again.

Just last week the ATM machine that I go to most of the time didn’t refill the machine over the weekend when they were out of money. I went Monday early morning. When I got there, the guard said that they might fill the machine at 9 am that day. So I went again at 9 am, as soon as I got there the guard informed me again that they’re still working in the machine and they also had the thorough check of the machine and it might be ready that afternoon. So instead of going back that afternoon, I went the following day instead, the machine was working but the guard informed me that all through the week the bank will continue on on checking thoroughly with the machine (maintenance time). So they said they might have the machine be out of service anytime too. Which means it’s a bit hassle going through and looking for another ATM. I just can’t believe that they are thoroughly checking and repairing the machine this time of the year and it’s busy time for their machine. Too many people withdrawing money. I’ve seen other foreign nationals withdrawing money there and they will be in the machine for awhile stocking up. Just in my opinion they should do the maintenance around October or early November. Just a thought anyway.

With in this week expect long lines on the atm or the bank. Have you seen the off days of the bank after the 23rd of December?

Here’s what I know so far:

December 24, 2014, Wednesday – Additional Special Non-Working Holiday, bank closed

December 25, 2014, Thursday – Christmas Day – Regular Holiday, bank closed

December 26, 2014, Friday – Additional Special Non-working Holiday, bank closed

December 27, 2014 – Weekend, bank closed

December 28, 2014 – Weekend, bank closed

December 29, 2014 – Only day banks open

December 30, 2014 – Rizal Day – Regular Holiday, bank closed

December 31, 2014, Wednesday – New Year’s Eve (Special Non-Working Day), bank closed

January 1, 2015, Thursday – New Year’s Day, bank closed

January 2, 2015, Friday – Additional special non-working day (Special non-working day)

January 3, 2015 – Weekend, Bank closed

January 4, 2015, Weekend, bank closed

January 5, 2015, Bank and school resumes for the year 2015

What does this mean?

For a period just one day shy of 2 weeks, the banks will be opened only 1 day, all of the other days the banks will be closed.

So for all of you that live through ATM, better stock up on cash before the bank and ATM close down and run out of money. The machine might not be filled up until next year. I might see you guys at one of the machine. LOL

Keep in mind also that while this article focuses on ATM and Bank closures, it is likely that many other types of businesses will be closed many (or all) of the days listed as well. Malls will be open most of those days (many malls in the Philippines are even open on Christmas day, starting at Noon), but smaller businesses are likely to be closed. Be prepared!

Have a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year Everyone!

November 23, 2014 by feyma

It’s another Thanksgiving Celebration in the Philippines!

Yep another Thanksgiving celebration again here in the Philippines, American style. What I mean by that, we usually celebrate our Thanksgiving just like the way Bob’s family celebrated when he’s growing up. Then when I came to America I observed them and I liked it. So Bob and I decided to celebrate the thanksgiving the way his family did, and we can continue on the tradition. Hopefully our kids will follow and continue the Martin tradition. Woo, I’m just hoping that our to be daughter-in-laws likes to cook just like our daughter Jean. Jean can cook most of the food that we prepare during Thanksgiving.

We cook a lot of our food from scratch. From the stuffing mix (croutons & sausage), sweet potato, mashed potato, pies and other stuff. As you know a few years ago, it is hard to get the most of the ingredients here in the Philippines, especially we’re outside of Manila. Thank God for the sprouting malls now, lots of them carries the imported ingredients. But to be honest I hardly use the imported ingredients anymore, ever since using the local substitute it works for us and it just tasted the same as the real one. Bob and I decided that we’re not going to buy the imported and expensive ingredients since we can make a good one just a fraction of the price. LOL.

Thanksgiving Turkey

In the past years of living here we do our Thanksgiving 2 days after the Thanksgiving in America. Since Thursday kids have school here. It’s not a holiday here for that. So we do ours during Saturday so that the kids can help out and enjoy the whole day with the family. We did our Thanksgiving celebration a bit early this year. It was actually celebrated yesterday. Bob has some commitments to go to on the weekend after the Thanksgiving in the USA. So we decided to do it this weekend. The kids will be home and help us cook the turkey and other dishes. I usually decorate Christmas a week before we celebrate Thanksgiving. Thank God I’m done with decorating with the help of my kids, my nieces and helper. So everyday this week it’s going to be a busy day for us.

Starting with making our homemade squash for the pies and pumpkin roll, pumpkin pudding low-fat. We are also making chocolate chess pie, some of my kids would not eat the pumpkin pie. I’m thinking of making the yam (sweet potato early). Mix the rest of the ingredients and bake on the day of the party. Have to make the croutons ahead of time too. It seems that the sourdough bread taste much better than the ciabatta bread, but it really all depends if I can find some sourdough bread near us. Sometimes the bread shop at SM carries them. Oh well, french bread and ciabatta works good as well anyway. So not a problem there.

So here’s our food for our thanksgiving here in the house: Turkey, Mashed Potato, Stuffing, Rice, Beans, Yams, Pumpkin Pie, Chocolate Chess Pie, Pumpkin Roll, Pumpkin Pudding and ham (we have ham this year). Good for sandwich later and turkey soup too.

So what about you guys? What are you preparing for the Thanksgiving holiday? To those expats here in the Philippines, do you had a hard time getting the ingredients? Do you celebrate just the way you do back home? Some restaurant here in Davao do some Thanksgiving lunch and dinner. I’m sure some restaurant in your area too.

HAPPY THANKSGIVING TO ALL AMERICANS ALL OVER THE WORLD!!!

November 6, 2014 by feyma

Drinking, when is enough?

I was reading on my kindle and looking at the cover of the book. I thought it’s about a dog. I guess it was really about the dog too, because the dog was helping them heal from heartache. Then when I started reading, it’s also about the kids who will be losing their dad. He was charged with (DUI) driving under the influence. It’s already his 4th felony. He will be sentenced to jail for 6 months. The kids, who are age 7 and 5, had no place to stay so they will be put to foster care. It used to be that the aunt took care of them when the dad was sent to jail from his previous felonies. She was just tired of him putting the alcohol first over his kids. So she told the brother that if he won’t straighten up that she will not take care of the kids anymore. So at the end it’s really the kids that got the raw deal. They don’t have anybody then at the end. Can you imagine a 7 year old taking care of himself and his younger sibling? Luckily a stranger with a dog went to the shop of the dad to have his motor home be fixed. The dad saw that the guy was nice. The stranger was a teacher. So he asked the stranger to take care of his kids for a few months. He did and it was not an easy decision for the stranger since he also had some problems to take care of himself. He just lost his son from drunk driver.

Drunk Driver

So it dawned on me, what if the situation would have been here in the Philippines, like the one I was describing on top. Would the family turn away those kids? In my mind I don’t think so, but who knows. If the family also would give a lesson to the father to not put the alcohol first over his kids. I was thinking with so many extended families here, I’m pretty sure one of the families will definitely take care of those kids. Or even the neighbors would probably offer to help out. I’m sure in America the neighbors will offer to help out too, but they’re also busy working and busy with their own lives. So really the kids there will be easily put to foster care. Here in the Philippines if nobody will take care of the kids, they could easily end up begging on the street. It’s really a pretty sad situation in both countries.

I’m not giving other example. I will give some members of my family as an example. One of my family was just so irresponsible with his wife and kids way back when I was younger. Of course the close family of the wife steps-in and took care of almost all their kids. It was hard for the parents of the wife watching their daughter being abused by their son-in-law. Let me tell you, it’s really hard to all of the family watching their sister being abuse by her husband. The brothers of the wife really wants to strangle the husband when his drunk. But the parents of the wife always said that it’s going to be the decision of the wife. All of the family were really hoping that she will leave the guy and go somewhere. But I think it show that love is blind. Some of my cousins really just wants to take care of him, I think you got the idea of what I meant by taking care. But it would never happened, because the parents of the lady, they would not allow the cousins be criminal. Later, when the kids of abusive guy and his wife got older. I think her husband got scared with the kids already. One of the kids that was raised by the parents of the wife and the other male kid threatens their dad that if he will be abusing their mom again that they will kill him. I think the husband got the message. He’s now a calm guy and just follow what his kids told him to do.

Another unending cycle not just the Philippines I guess but the world. I’ve seen too many people killed by drunk drivers. It’s just sad for the victims of the drunk driver and the people that they left behind especially the kids. I hope when those people drink they’re avoiding being behind on the wheels. Bob sister was one of the victim, she was hit by a drunk driver and died instantly. It was hard on Bob for so many years. The pain was there still until now.

Guys I’m not anti drinking or anything. It’s individuals choice or in other words to each his own. Just make sure you’re not hurting others at the end. Just drink moderately or have somebody drive for you or take a taxi!

Cheers!