Live in the Philippines

October 31, 2013 by feyma

Hypocrisy

Have you guys been reading or hearing on Philippine news TV? Regarding one of the big celebrities here in the Philippines wanting to marry his girlfriend. Why would that be a problem? The guy, he is 60 years old and the girl is 16 years old. To be honest I think if the girl was over 18 it might not cause a lot commotion here.

I think one of the reasons why it makes some noise not just here but all over where lots of Filipina married to foreigners community. The guy he is so nationalistic that sometimes he sounds like he doesn’t like the Pinay to be married to the foreigners. But his sister married someone from Europe. Well that’s just his opinion. It doesn’t bother me really. But what does bother me when he’s one of those person that’s against older foreigner guys marrying the young Pinay.

Freddie Aguilar with 16 year old girlfriend

But look what he is doing. He is wanting to marry an underage girl. My Lord my daughter is older than his girlfriend. To be honest, really just thinking, I know my daughter is too young to marry any guy right now, and I know she’s just not ready to have another life (babies) to support. It’s just like babies making babies. I know that celebrity guy can afford what the young bride wants, I would also say the same to any foreigner that married to Filipina, he can afford whatever the young bride desires.

For me that celeb guy should just zip his mouth before, since he already know that he had desire for youngster. I’ve read somewhere that his second or third wife, he married her when the girl was just 17. He said he loved her too much that he let her go later. He should know better, the media now scrutinized him and the girl. Honestly I felt sorry for the girl, now she’s going to be followed by the paparazzi. And he claimed that he didn’t know the girl was just 16 years old before they had the relationship. That really shocked me. He didn’t ask her birthday or what year in school she is? Knowing the year level of the girl, he can already figure it out her age. I don’t think the girl stopped schooling. I don’t think they are too poor. Or like he said he was blinded by his love for her to backed out. It’s already too late for him to know her age he said. But what can we say the parents were okay with it, and they approved of him marrying the girl when she reached the age of 18. Not sure if they are now living in one roof. The way he said in the interview, it didn’t sound like they are living apart. But who knows.

Really, I’ve met a lot of older guys married to a young Filipina (the Pinay is over the legal age) like a little over 20′s. And you know what I saw the love and care with each other. The thing that I had in mind now with the 16 year old, most of them were so immature, just a few are not. What if hard times/trials come along, can the 16 year old think right away on what to do? Maybe some can too. This is a difficult subject to tackle because for me it’s really up to the person. But I am hoping too that it will not happen to my daughter or other members of my family. I saw a lot of what happen when a 16 year old married that early. Trouble in paradise mostly.

*** But I guess it’s not so uncommon to a young girl become the mistress of someone here (some were pushed by poverty and the parents). So I guess its just the same. It’s one of the other unending cycles here in the Philippines “The young ones (underage girl) married or living in with the older guy”. ***

October 24, 2013 by feyma

Morning routine, breakfast for us!

Over a month or so ago now Bob and I started that all of us in the house will eat breakfast together. We were thinking of dinner, but some of the kids in the house will be going home late because of school. So the dinner together idea is off the table for now. We know that all of us will be here during morning so that’s one of the reasons why we started the morning routine for all of us. Really at first Bob and I were just thinking that we will have the breakfast routine just during weekdays. But, by the middle of the first week we talked to the kids if they want to still do the breakfast? Everybody said that they want to do it daily. So we have breakfast everyday now. Only thing during weekends we are flexible with the hours.

Today’s choices

During weekdays we do our breakfast early morning usually before 6:30, since the kids go to school early. During weekends we will eat no later than 8:30. If I’m making muffins I usually get up a little early. Sometimes my niece Glenda will make garlic rice, the kids like it a lot with sausage or the nuclear dogs ( ha ha ha). Jean helps with the cooking. She’s been cooking some muffins too. It seems to be a routine now to wake up early. I don’t even have to go to their room. She just wakes up by herself and helps out. Sometimes they go to the market early or the day before to buy fruits.

Breakfast Selections

Sometimes me and one of the kids go for a walk early to buy bread at the bakery here. Good freshly baked bread (pandesal especially). It’s so yummy. Sometimes we buy muffins at S & R. It’s like the muffin made from Costco. Very good. Here’s some of the foods we eat in the morning: Fruits (mango, banana, pineapple, pomelo, papaya, marang and many others). Cereals, banana muffins/bread, pancakes, waffles, baked french toast, garlic rice, regular rice, eggs (poach, boiled, fried), Hormel breakfast sausage, Johnsonville breakfast sausage, bacon, ham, hash brown, homemade Challah bread, homemade bread, biscuits and many others too. Our foods were suggested by everybody. We always have a few selections of foods in the morning in-case other people in the house don’t want the other food being served. We also have coffee, tea and other drinks. Really our breakfast, its a combination of Filipino and American dishes.

It’s really good to be together with the kids in the morning. We decided to eat at our porch, it seems cooler there in the morning. Really its good to be with the kids catching up with what they are doing everyday. The kids and nieces seems to be enjoying it too. We would not have done it if we are not all enjoying to be together. Even our helpers she eats with us. Ever since Bob and I lived here in the Philippines we always had our helpers eat with us.

All in all I’m so happy preparing the food for my family everyday. Something for all of us to enjoy and bond. I had a feeling that my kids might continue on this tradition too later with their respective families.

Have Fun Eating!!!

October 17, 2013 by feyma

A Taxi Driver’s Story!

I was riding a taxi from Abreeza mall to our house. When the taxi cab driver saw one of my son with me he could tell that my son is a multi-race. So he asked me if my son is mixture of German & Pinoy? I answered him politely nope. He then asked again what country, I told him the USA. He said oh, the US. I have my son and ex-wife there. So I asked him did your wife marry a foreigner? He said yes. He said actually she really is not my wife. We didn’t get married, we were just together for a long time. So I kinda tease him maybe your partner got tired of waiting for you to asked her to marry her? He said maybe and just move on with out me. We kinda both laugh on that.

Anyway, he was really curious with the life in the USA. I told him that maybe his son could petition him later for him to go there. He said maybe. He said that his son did not expressed any interest of getting him. He told me that he still continue communicating with his son there. I could tell the taxi driver really is interested to go to the USA for he wants quote and quote to make his and his new wife and kids have a better life. I can’t blame him for wanting a better life. He really regretting not finishing school, its imminent when he’s talking.

Davao Taxi

I asked him how old is his son. He said he just turn 20. He said his son had been in the States for 5 or so years now. the son’s working at McDonald and studying college too. I could tell that he is really proud of his son. Which he should be. He said that his son told him that he cannot send money for his dad because he is paying his brand new car right now. He said his son bought an Audi car. I don’t know why he mentioned the brand of the car. I said really, that’s a very expensive car. He said his son said that he needed that car for his job. So I asked him then what’s the position of his son at McDonald? Is he an executive? He said his a server. I just said ah okay. I just said that he probably needs it then. Well, if the son thinks he needed that car, so it’s his choice. But the taxi driver really said his frustration that his son did not bother to send him money. I didn’t say anything because it’s not my place to tell him what to do.

For me in my opinion, it’s okay for that kid to not support his dad here since he is going to school. But I don’t think he really needed that expensive car for him to go to work. When we were there in the States before, kids of friends of mine who were going to college bought used cars for them to go to school and to go to work. It’s too early to show off a very expensive car. I asked the taxi driver maybe his ex-partner were the one paying the car, he said no, it’s just his son. I just didn’t know that the son can afford an expensive car payment, plus school, plus his personal things.

Because of the taxi driver’s dilemma I was thinking then for my son Aaron. Since AJ is getting serious of going to the States to visit GrandMa and maybe to study. I was thinking then what’s best for AJ to do when he will be in the States by himself without Mom and Dad. Just Grandma will be there with him. I would not want him to be burden with car payment. For me if he wants to study in America, he can ride the bus. So many buses route from my mother-in-laws house to the nearest college there. I would rather he uses the extra money for his personal things than the car payment. Hopefully Aaron will think it through on what to do than buying stuff that’s not so necessary for him. Anyway, that’s just my opinion.

Cheers!

October 10, 2013 by feyma

Racism comment: Give the Bambi moment!

You’ve probably read and heard of the Miss World pageant controversy. The pageant was held like 2 weeks or so ago. Miss Philippines (Megan Young) got the title. Megan was born in the USA, shes a Fil-Am. She came to the Philippines and become an actress. She’s also active in charitable work. Everyone here was celebrating and so happy including myself. It was the first time for the Philippines to get the title ever since the pageant started in 1951. While the Philippines was in the celebration mode, someone made a bad comment and not happy with the result.

Never know at first about the criticism until seeing it on FB. Just didn’t pay much attention with it until one of my kids asked me if I saw what somebody said about the the Miss Philippines winning the title. I told my kids that I saw something and didn’t pay much attention about it. So I went through my news feed on my FB wall. I just can’t believed what that woman (by the way her name is Devina Dediva) said.

Megan Young – Miss World 2013

I’m quoting what Dediva says:

“Miss Philippines is Miss World? What a joke! I didn’t know those maids have anything else in them. Ha Ha Ha”…

She did not stop there. Another quote from her. “they are poor, smelly from cleaning toilets and uneducated.”

Still another comment from her and I quote “they are less privileged everywhere! M surprised one can win. What a joke those people cleaning our toilets won miss world.”

After seeing what she said I was thinking how could she said that. When I look at her picture, I could see she had an Indian descent. True enough when I google her name this is what I saw:

“Devina DeDiva is a Singaporean national of Indian origin”

I’m surprised she said what she said because I know that many people from India also seek job and work as an OFW in the countries were Filipinos seeks works too. Like a cousin of mine worked in Egypt for 8 years and now in Kuwait and most of her co-workers were from India. My cousin never said bad stuff with those co-workers of hers. When I was working in the States before for 2 months I had lots of Indian co-workers too. I never think low of them and them to me. To be totally honest most of us Filipinos that works there were almost all college graduates. Those Indian workers some of them were not even a high school graduate. But you know what both Filipinos and Indians never ever bash each cultures and descent and no calling names.

I don’t want to demean people, when she said Filipinos smells bad because they cleaned toilets. Well, I want to know then if she will be put inside one room with Pinoys after cleaning the toilets and the other room with her fellow Indian after cleaning toilets. Then I want her to judge who smells bad. She should not say the bad smelling because it will bounce back to her what she comment. I will say though that we also had people here that smells bad but who had the most smelly people. Just asking here.

You know I tried my very best not to judge people because I don’t want to be judge also. If a person from the Philippines say something like that to other person (contestant) from other country too after winning I would not like it too. The reason the pageant has judges, they are the one that has the right to judge who the winner is. We are not there for the pre-pageant.

Bambi

I just want to advise Devina Dediva to watch the Bambi movie. I know it’s a kids movie, but its a good movie. Theirs a good moral lesson there that she needs to know and maybe put in her mind all the time:

Thumper says “If you can’t say something nice… don’t say nothing at all”

Keep your big mouth to yourself from now on. I’m pretty sure you want to continue living the good life. I heard you are out from your job now. Not fun anymore for you. Theirs time for fun and theirs time for sacrifices. I’m sure if you say sorry sincerely people are very forgiving. Try to be humble. God bless you.

Mabuhay Philippines!

October 3, 2013 by feyma

Curiosity about my ethnicity!

You probably wonder why I am writing about this subject. Some of you readers here are friends of mine on Facebook. Maybe some of you hardly open your Facebook too. Well if you are a frequent FB user, you’ve probably noticed my recent profile photo.

I changed my picture, to one with me wearing a hijab. It was really my first time to wear it. A hijab is a cloth that covers your head (entire hair) and just your face suppose to be seen. That photo, that was taken a few years ago when we visited Tugaya, near Marawi City, in Lanao del Sur Province, which is probably at least 80% Muslim.

Posing with kids in Tugaya

For a Muslim woman it’s a natural thing to wear one. So being I had one on in that picture I was asked by someone on Facebook if I am a Muslim. I was shocked by the inquiry but I answered her back nicely. I told her that I am not a Muslim (nothing wrong if I were). For the record my dad is from Tagbilaran, Bohol, my mom was born from San Fernando,Cebu. But she was raise in Lala, Lanao. My parents met in Lala, Lanao. After few years of marriage, my parents moved to South Cotabato then, Sarangani Province. I was born in a small town in Malapatan, Sarangani Province. Grew up there until I went to high school (Notre Dame of Lagao For Girls then) in GenSan. Then college in Cebu City. Then 2 months shy of my college graduation I married Bob. Three months after graduation I went to the States and lived there for 10 years.

That photo was taken on one of my unforgettable visit to the places that many Filipinos dared not to go to. It was really an honor for me to be visiting there with the invitation of our special friends who live there. You can already tell that, that’s not the place for the tourist to go to. They fear of being kidnapped, in which case I can’t blame them of thinking that. Really the place was nice, but not also the place to visit if you don’t know anyone from there. We were just so lucky to have some friends that we knew that the family was from there. I am not going to mention who they are, but it was really a pleasure going there. Words can’t even explain how I felt on that day when we were there.

But to be totally honest I had mixed feelings after going there. I was happy to be there visiting the place. The people were nice and accommodating to us. The purpose of going there too was to see the stuff that they make there. They make big native drums, gongs, kulintang, brass vase, nice furniture with mother of pearl in-lay, swords and others. They had all those stuff but not many people go there to see and purchase because of fear. They had dealers that go there but just buy few stuff. The big plus of going there was seeing the beautiful Mosque that was built by the father of a friend of ours. It was really awesome. Our friend’s dad, he was just a grade school graduate, but he designed and built the Mosque. The upstairs was not totally done yet though. I think he used part of his own money for that mosque. I’ve heard women were not allowed to go inside the mosque. I was allowed because our friend told the caretaker to let me inside. I was humbled and honored by that and I really treasured that memory. The view upstairs was stunning and overlooking at Lake Lanao.

I was also sad being there, just seeing the way below poverty line people who live there. Just looking at the houses and the lifestyle they have there, really makes my heart ache for the people there. That’s one of the places that I’ve been that I cried while passing by. It’s really hard to explain what I saw there. But people still had smile on their faces seeing us. For the first time I saw the disposable diaper being washed and hung dry to re-use over again. It was really an eye opener for me. And I told my kids we are so lucky to have the life that we have now. We don’t live in fear. Those kids there, they might be on alert most of the time in case there is a war going in the area. That part of Mindanao really is on the “Hot Zone” (war zone as the press say). But I saw big and fancy houses on top of the hill side. I didn’t really know that rich people live there on top of the hill side.

But in short… no, I am not Muslim.

Help us pray for peace in Mindanao!