I was grocery shopping with my youngest son, Jared, today after registering him for the next school year Ateneo de Davao University. I promised him that I will buy him a drink as soon as we will be at NCCC mall. Which I did. NCCC just walking distance from Ateneo.
While shopping we passed by an aisle where I saw candles. I immediately told Jared that I have to get some candles. I didn’t explain to him my purpose of buying the candle, I just grab a bunch of them and put it in our cart. In his mind I bought the candles for black out purposes. He was getting some and showing me one that would be better for blackout because it will last longer. When I was getting into different colors and such, he was just puzzled. I told him my reasons for buying the candles for the graveyard of my sister and I will also include my mom, my dad and my brother-in-law. He looked at me with his raised up eyebrows and the word that uttered in his mouths was “HUH”. I could tell more questions ahead of me there. Which he did within just minutes after his shock. He immediately asked why “he didn’t know that you had sisters that died a long time ago?”.
Here in the Philippines when someone died it’s our traditions (Catholics) to light the candles all through out the wake until the person that died be buried. Then after burial, there would be a 9 days prayer in the house. Candle (some light thing) should be lit 24/7 from the time the person died until 40th days of the passing. It might be regional, so I ‘m not sure of that. I will write more about traditions in our culture. Stay tuned for it.
Wow, I was really caught off guard there. I never knew that my not telling him, it bothered him a little bit. I guess I don’t talk to him about my 3 siblings that died a long time ago because for me he is too young to be told about it. I guess I miscalculated my son. I thought he is not yet ready to hear it. I don’t really want to tell him because it just a sad thing. But I guess he is ready to hear it now. I’ve talked to Aaron and Jean a little bit about it. I will tell Chris slowly too, it will be hard for him too. But in time he will understand.
My other 2 siblings died before I was born, so not much to talk about it because I just know them. I just know them from what my parents told me. My siblings that died, our oldest brother he died minutes after he was born, the second one my sister she was 3 years old. I can’t remember I think it was from a bad flu. The other sister she died when she’s 27 years old and I just graduated my grade school at that time. She was handicapped from polio when she was 3 years old. It was really hard on my parents and me when she died. Why hard on me because I’ve been with her ever since I can remember until she passed. Wow, It will be her death anniversary in a few days time. It’s going be 32 years then. Wow, that long ago already and it seems it was yesterday that we hung out together at our house in the farm. I remember teaching her how to read and write. She was learning a little bit from me. But she was learning a lot from few teachers that lives with us in our house. They were teachers in our town and by my parents generosity they were offered to live with us for free. My dad was just happy that the teachers were so eager to teach the kids in our barrio.
Remembering my sister also remembering my parents. It’s been 20 years since my dad passed away and 5 years for my mom. I am slowly telling Jared about my family that passed on. He is really interested to know more about my dad, since me my nieces and my sisters were talking about my parents when my sister’s were here at our house during the kids graduations. The kids were really wishing they saw my dad and they are more interested to hear about him since they know that my dad fought during WW2. Luckily they saw my mom before she died. They had good fun memories of her. They would always remember her in our yard planting flowers.
To my Dad, Mom and my siblings we love you. My kids will know more about you guys. You guys will not be forgotten. We will see you there later!