Well, I’ve been meaning to write this article for a long time now. I’ve been hearing lots of expats when they get together all they talk (tsismis) about was the other expats that live here. I felt that if they say that the Pinoys have the crab mentality, so do a lot of the expats. I think they are more. Some are even vicious. Some of them are back biters (I know, not all of them). If they think that another expat is successful, then it ticks them off and they get so jealous.
They will then spread rumors and say untrue stuff. Good thing in the Philippines you could be in jail for slander. Most of these expats that I am talking about they claimed they had no money but almost everyday they eat out and they will be going bar hopping every night and getting drunk. How can they have no money when all they do is travel and explore? And also how can they pay for hookers? But when they meet up with others at the end of the day the bitterness kicks in and say bad stuff about other expats.
I’ve seen a lot too that they think they are way better than the local people about anything. They might be in some aspect, maybe they are more wiser and worldly. But the local also knows better how to live here comfortably of what they can have. But oh dear you’ve heard also how stupid the expats act sometimes here, that they make themselves look like a fool. I’ve been seeing some expats like that too.
We had this friend who came here a few years ago. Bob really helped this fellow, answered his calls and texts. He would even be at the house for long hours of the day to talk to Bob. In some nights for almost a year he would call Bob up, he wants to talk to Bob because he said he really was depressed and might be going insane. Of course we tried to be as helpful as we can for him, even though its already late at night we let him come to our house and we talked to him until the wee hours of the night. We don’t mind because we want to help him.
He needed help for his stay here and also where to go for the bank, I showed him what to do and where to go. Bob helped him out on something about the internet. He just had lots of questions on that department, and Bob was really willing to help him. Later when we saw that he was whining and complaining, we told him that maybe this might not be the perfect place for him. But he still wants to stay here. Still we continue on helping him. Later we found out that he was talking behind our back, as if he felt that our help is not good enough. Really just reading on the stuff he’s writing I could tell and it showed that he is really a big SOB. I don’t care for him anymore.
He claimed to be a devoted Christian. A true follower of God would not do the stuff he did. He just a jealous kind of guy and so bitter about life. How could he be happy with others that he himself is not happy. He wanted to earn money here but because of his laziness he didn’t make any. He was blogging and Bob help him out of the stuff that might be helpful for him to blog. He still continues on blogging nonsense and it shows now his immaturity. If we meet up again I’m going to tell him to strive hard in life instead of just so jealous of the works of others. His bitterness will never get him anywhere. He should just stop whining and griping. Be happy in life. If he can’t be happy here just go home to the place where you came from. Really I wanted to say more to him but I have to refrain myself though.
We also had this friend a few years back. We were still new here in Davao at that time too. He was renting a house here and at first he was okay. He was telling us that he was jealous of Bob and I been married for a long time. We didn’t know at first of the life that he wanted to have. He just wants to have fun here, not really looking for a good wife… Few months later of being our friend he then was telling us all the rendezvous he was having. He had a few girls in his apartment and he was so proud in saying the multiple girls he had in one night. I thought he was just joking because he was over the age I thought. But then another friend confirmed of the guys activity. One day we saw him and we had lunch with him and he was just so proud that he was having sex with his helper. After hearing from other people of the guys over enjoyment here we decided not to be friends with him anymore. We don’t want to get involved with his over enjoyment here. I am not sure though if he still living here. I hope he went home to where he came from. He was even so proud in telling to other expats here about him traveling to Mexico before for multiple sex he said.
Be careful also when talking to some expats, some words just meant different to them (language barrier i guess). A few years back Bob just said the words “I’m going to be totally and brutally honest to you”. The guy that Bob was talking to, he thought that bob would hit him, because of the word brutally. He meant physical then. Wow what a word made a difference. We were caught off guard on that and tried to be careful in using that word to other foreign friends then. Or at least asked them about it.
I know that it’s going to be so difficult in adjusting to the life of the place that you are not accustomed to, but please don’t use others for that. Try to be happy here and try to blend in with the locals. As we always said try to learn even just the basic language of where you live. The locals will then be happy that you tried. Please avoid making comments or making gossip. Making up stories about someone can bring you to jail here. And everyone knows that jail is not going to be a good place for you here. We all know that the jail here were so totally different from the West. No privileges for the prisoners here. No TV and no gym here. I’m not even sure if our jails here have a library. So be very careful!
Instead of being jealous of others, try to make yourself busy with good stuff. Try to help out the poor instead. Give food to the homeless, give up the few beers a night. It will make you happy later seeing those smile of the kids!
“Jealousy” try to make it more fun in the Philippines then. We have plenty of those here….