Another unending cycle of problems here in the Philippines!

August 1, 2013 by feyma

Another unending cycle of problems here in the Philippines!

I was just browsing my wall on Facebook. One message caught my eyes. Just reading the story brought some thoughts in me. The never ending cycle of family problems that goes on here in the Philippines. It’s a story and revelation of a family problem with the property that was left behind by the parents. The person that wrote this, it was her grand dad who was a victim. The story goes that the grand father had 6 hectares. He was happy to have that, he used the income for his needs every month. Finally he didn’t realize that one of his daughters pawned the land to somebody else. That daughter didn’t give any share to her other siblings. Well, she didn’t even ask her dad for that. Take note the dad is still alive.

Well, one day her uncle and aunt approached her if she could get the pawned land from other people since she’s earning pretty good money. She did agree to what they asked. She went and got the land and she did let the grandfather and her aunt and uncle signed the papers that she owned the land now since she paid from the person the aunt loaned it to. Even she owned the land, all income still goes to her grandfather. She was happy to give it to him when he was alive since he had no other income aside from that land. It continue on for years.

Farm land to earn for the family

When the grandfather died, she then wants to get the land so that she could give to her parents. So she asked for the title and other papers. She found out that the aunt that pawned had the title and other papers. So she realized too that the papers that she had with her it’s not notarized by the lawyer (the agreement between her and her grandfather). Not be honored then.

Just by reading with the story of the lady it also reminds me of a message I got over a year ago. The same problem as these lady. The lady was asking for an advice from me on what should she do and her other siblings against other siblings who was getting all the income from the property that their parents left for them. She was really in deeply need on what to do. I just told her to go see a lawyer in there area that specialize about property.

Honestly it happened to my family too. We had nephews that took over some of my parents’ property. One of my nephews used the family of his wife to get the property from us since they are the natives in the area. Problem for them my parents bought the property legally from one of the local residents there before I was even born and the wife of the owner she’s a native in the area and knew my parents very well. Her and her kids helped out my sisters now on getting back our land from my nephew. We even had papers to prove to them that my parents owned the land. My parents hired people there to plant coconut trees and other fruit trees there. I think in mid to late 60′s. When we had it surveyed a few years ago, we hired a few army men to escort the surveyor and my siblings to be there. When the army saw the land the army men and other people that accompanied my siblings made a comment, that no wonder that my nephew would not give it up because it’s a good piece of land that my parents have there. Yeah my nephew should be very happy the area alone the size I think were little over 18 hectares.

We hired a lawyer to take care of a lot of our paperwork now. I think lately my nephew realized that we would never give up to him the property of our parents. So now we are just waiting for the courts decision. It will be a big loss for him. He usually gets more or less 200 sacks of corn, plus the income from the copra and other plants there.

To be honest I told my parents before they passed, during of one of my visits here before to sell all the land they owned and enjoy life. I told them go take vacations to Bohol to visit all the relatives there or go to Cebu visit mom’s family. My dad just had something in mind, he wanted to leave us something and hand it down to the next generation. Wished he did that. Now all of us siblings agreed to sell everything, just leave the land where we grew up with.

I know lots of similar problem going on all over here in the Philippines and even on other country. Families fighting over inheritance. Some were even killing each other. I know for one my cousins were using fists fights for it. I know it sounds crazy but it’s happening though.

July 25, 2013 by feyma

Can we all get along!

I was talking to an old friend. We were trying to reminisce our good memories of our lives when we used to live in the States. We’ve known each other during our time of getting the visa days in Manila. We’ve met there at the US Embassy office over 22 years ago now. We really became good friends ever since then. Reminiscing the waiting at the early hours for the US Embassy office to finally open, wanting to be the first in line. Ha ha ha.. No matter how early me and my sister went there we usually be on the 5th or so in line. But oh well, still happy to be one of the first few people that will enter the place.

What a chaotic place that was when it opened. We had a joke before that when entering the embassy, it felt like entering the public market here in the Philippines. Too noisy. Lol. I’m pretty sure they might be controlled better now, since some of the other transactions were done online. One sample alone was the getting of the visa. During our time we had to go back to the embassy a few days after the interview and get the visa ourselves. Nowadays, they will just mail it to you directly to the address you’ve provided for them to be sent to. More convenient and no hassles of waiting outside the gate and inside the office.

My friend was telling me about her experience in the area where she’s living now. Her and her Pinay friends were so divided just because of gossip and jealousy. My friend, she’s successful talking about financially and her family life. She just had better life than some of the Pinays there in her area. Well, some of her jealous friend spread rumors that’s not even true about her, she just didn’t do anything because she told me that she had better things to do than to think about those jealous girls. That’s the better approach to that I think, just leave it and later the issue will just die down. That’s what I would do too if I were in her shoes. Most of the gossip girls just don’t have something to do in life other than watch other people’s lives. They might be imitating the soap opera or the teleserye on TFC.

I saw a lot of it here too. It’s just not the Filipinos do that kind of thing, I saw and heard expats too. It’s just human nature to get jealous of the success of others. Some know how to control their jealousy, some just plain anger and jealousy that they can’t sleep without destroying other people. It’s just so crazy to think, but it happens. Some were even killing just over jealousy and gossip. It’s just not worth it. The “Crab mentality” is really present not just in the Philippines but all over the world.

Just like my friend was telling me, she was just letting someone borrow something from her. Then she forgot that the other friend had it for a long time. When time for her to use it, she remembered that the friend had it. She then asked the stuff that was borrowed to be returned. The friend was furious because the friend claimed she own the stuff since she had it for a long time. WOW, the friend had the guts to be mad and to think she’s the one that borrowed something. I can’t believed it that my friend was punished for being nice and trying to help out.

At the end she was blamed that its her fault that the friendship was falling apart. No friendship would fall apart if the friend just return the stuff and just say thank you and sorry that it was not return right away and friendship would flourish. Instead the friend just spread rumors and gossip and she even involved other friends. Even her kids she involved them too, which is really ridiculous and crazy for me.

Living with jealousy and anger will not get her life better. My friend is wishing for a happy and peace of mind for her friend. That she should live life to the fullest instead of bitterness.

Mabuhay!

July 18, 2013 by feyma

Reconnecting friends from over a decade of friendship!

Yesterday I went to see again a friend that Bob and I knew for over a decade now. We knew them through the net. Her name is Effy, she now lives in Texas with her husband John and their 2 kids Jessa and little JP. Now joined by Effy’s mom Ate Ermie.

We met her just not long after we arrived here from the States in early 2000. At that time we used to live in GenSan. Effy just graduated her college and got engaged to her fiancee John from The States. At that time Effy was still the shy girl. Just talking and interacting with her I remember my days with her before meeting Bob and before my days going to the States. The typical Pinay, so shy and timid. Effy really is every parents dream to have for a daughter. Bob met Effy and John when Bob came to Davao for a business trip. John came here to see Effy for the first time. Bob and John had been communicating on the net for awhile. John decided to visit GenSan. We’re so happy to show them around, we brought them to Lake Sebu and Isla Parilla and other nice places there.

The long time friends

We still got in contact with Effy after John went home. One day we had some business to do here in Davao. We then proceeded to Tagum to see Effy. I think at that time she’s working at the hospital there. It happened to be her off day at work, we invited her to come with us to Davao to have lunch. We brought her to one of the restaurant here. I think that was Don Henrico’s Restaurant near Gaisano South. We ordered foods and one of the things we ordered was onion rings. That was the first time Effy tasted onion rings and she really like it a lot.

John came back few months after and they had pre-wedding celebration here in Tagum. Bob and I were invited. It was really a nice and beautiful celebration. Effy’s mom Ate Ermie who is a fabulous wedding planner, she prepared the whole thing. It was grand since her lovely daughter would be married in a few weeks in the States. The party here was for the family of Effy who can’t attend the wedding in the States. We were sort of the grooms family during the pre-wedding. Our friendship did not end after we atteneded the pre-wedding. John and Effy went to the States a few days after the pre-wedding celebration. Effy first lived in Seattle for a few years before settling to Texas until now. John is a chef at RainForest Restaurant.

Aaron and Jessa

Even when Effy was already in the States I am still communicating with her mom. Then when Effy visit her family here after living in the States for a few years. She came to our house and just catch up with our friendship. Then a few years ago Ate Ermie’s went to States. We still continue on our friendship. Thank goodness for Facebook and the telephone. We continue knowing each other activities through there. I can see now that Effy is a very busy mom to her daughter who happens to be modeling. She’s traveling to have shows on some other areas in Texas.

Effy and her mom Ermie also do some wedding planning and flower arrangement on the side for wedding in there area in Texas. Effy also accepts Balikbayan Boxes shipment for the Philippines. If ever you want more info just email me on that.

To Effy and Ate Ermie, little JP and Jessa. It was really nice seeing you guys. Thank you so much for visiting. Thank you for the gifts too. I hope to see you guys before you head back home. Have a good visit with your family here in the Philippines. Have a good trip home.

July 11, 2013 by feyma

The eye popping show!

Been watching shows on TV. One that caught our attention was the show “Restaurant Impossible” by Robert Irvine. The show really is about drowning in debt restaurant owners and asking help from Robert on how to make their restaurant better and more profitable. What Robert will do he will renovate the restaurant and improved the menu for 2 days with the budget of $10,000. He will have help from his few different designers and his builder Tom. Both Bob and I really like the show and the people that help Robert. A lot of time we would be in awe of the outcome of the renovation. I also learned a few menus from him.

Robert Irvine of Restaurant Impossible

It’s really puzzling to me how could any owners let there restaurant be filthy, disgusting and so much gunk. Just watching the show makes my stomach turn upside down. Lots of time my eyeballs just about to pop out just watching those people when picking up the equipment in the kitchen and it’s filth every where. I felt that the workers just didn’t care and I guess the owners too. Too many OMG came out from my mouth in every episode that I watch of that show. It’s just mind blowing that the owners don’t have a clue how disgusting their restaurant has become. Like Bob and I were always commenting while watching the show, why can’t the owner start cleaning when they try to reach out for Robert before he come there to see their restaurant? At least when he comes to visit the resto it is partly clean already. Geez, if I would be the owner I would be embarrassed seeing my restaurant so filthy. Most of the restaurant that Robert would visit he always say its like a pig sty. And I totally agree with him.

Now since watching that show. My gosh, I was telling Bob that I felt like not eating at any restaurant now here in the Philippines, unless it is a newly opened restaurant. If the restaurant in the West goes like that so filthy and so disgusting, to think they had people from the government checking the restaurant regularly. What will be the restaurant here? I am not sure if they have regular people from the government checking the restaurant or do they have strict regulations on maintaining the restaurant here.

When going to the restaurant now all I’m thinking when ordering if the drinks and ice dispenser the inside is it clean? Are the cooking pots and pans cleaned? Are there mice crawling all over the restaurant during the night? Are the meats and veggies cleaned before cooking and serving? Gee, too many questions now in the back of my head. I mean I am not saying that the restaurant be super, super clean. Really it would be nice though if it would. But I would like it to be at least everything’s clean and the plates that were clean be covered that no bugs crawling in. No mice inside the kitchen running all over.

I don’t mind eating and drinking at some other good known restaurants here. Also right now I don’t mind eating at S & R since they just opened and some other restaurant that just opened recently. I know that the drinks & ice dispenser still in good shape.

Have a good eat everyone!

July 4, 2013 by feyma

“Brigada” the new requirements!

The new requirements now to enroll a kid here in the Philippines in a public school for grade school and high school are to do a Brigada. The “Brigada” or also known as Bayanihan. To work together to do something useful for the classroom or the school. It’s mostly and effort of the teachers, parents, students and member of the community. It is actually a week or 2 week long work in school. But you don’t have to work at the school the whole time. One parent or both can go there to the classroom and work there for an hour or more depending on how long you are willing to help out. I guess if ever few kids in the family goes to the school, the parents can do the brigada thing once and they can choose what grade level they want to work with, it surely depend on the parents on that.

Brigada Eskwela

With these efforts some volunteers were so attuned that they also give out or donate I say like paint, brooms, school supply, decor for the classroom, could give curtains and also helping putting them up, can give other stuff that needed there. The volunteers that help out will clean up the whole classroom inside and outside before the school starts. Parents and children will work side by side to paint the classroom or fix the chairs that’s been broken or other stuff that’s needs to be done. It also a good start to know the other parents and the teachers better. If you have some extra stuff in your house like cleaning products you can give it to the teacher-in-charge for the of used of the product.

Sending your kids to public school here it’s really similar to the States that almost everything is free. From the school tuition to the books. The teachers here would not even ask the parents for donations. They will just say that if you want to give you can, but you are not oblige to give.

Some schools they starts asking volunteers early (like the whole summer) to help out especially if lots of major repairs needs to be done like with the ceilings or some broken chair, teachers desk and bathroom leaks or smooth up the concrete walls. They also asked local businesses for assistance that will participate with the brigada.

I just heard that brigada recently when our wash lady was asking for an off day during the week for her to go for the brigada thing. She could tell that I had no idea what she was talking about, so she explained to me. Then I also asked my sister about it. Really it is cool to have it. I think they started the brigada thing during the mid 90′s to late 90′s. I’ve never experienced that when I was in grade school or in high school. It will be good start knowing the other parents especially later if your kid wants to spend the night at the classmates house. At least you already had an idea who they are with.

Feel free to share your Brigada or Bayanihan experience. School just started here, hope everyone is ready. Hope you guys had a good summer. For the folks in the West your summer just started. Have a good one there.

Mabuhay!