Expats

July 9, 2015 by feyma

If accidentally burned in the Philippines!

I am writing about this subject for the awareness of some of our readers here. Not sure if everyone knows that there are not so many burn centers here in the Philippines. As far as I know only one burn center in Mindanao. Only here in Davao City (Davao Medical Center or DMC).

Why do I know that there is just one in Mindanao? A few years ago, when my nephew got an accident in school in General Santos City. He fell in the hole with a fire burning. He almost lost his feet. Luckily they were saved. He was brought here to Davao and was at the Davao Medical Center for almost 2 months if I remember. Whenever I visited him there, I saw lots of people in the hallway sleeping. I asked my brother and one of my nephews why too many people there. They told me that a lot of those people there where from other places here in Mindanao. One of the nurses confirmed that too. I saw some patients from Agusan, some area near Cagayan De Oro, near Zamboanga, near Isulan and many more. Can you imagine being the patient and you will wait for a long time to be transported to Davao City? That’s a long journey.

As I’m typing this, my left hand, some of my fingers have blisters. I just got an accident a few days ago. I accidentally burned by a boiling water. 4 of my fingers have pretty good size blisters. It’s really painful. Luckily we almost always have burn ointment/cream here in the house. I did apply right away. Then I also put some aloe vera in it. We have plants of aloe vera here in our yard. Thank God for that. Bob was asking me if I want to go to the hospital, I said no. It’s not really that bad.

To be honest I’m not going to complain. My injuries are not even a tenth of my nephew and my helper’s injuries. Our helper when she was about 6 years old she got burned by a lugaw (rice porridge). The whole pan tipped over part of her chest and tummy. She showed me her scars and its really bad. She told me that she really suffered for long hours because they lived in the mountain and they’re far from a hospital. Luckily the hospital in their area managed to take care of her. Just hearing from her story, she’s lucky that she survived that ordeal. Watching my nephew suffer it’s really hard on our family. Seeing him in pain really was hard to see. Hearing him cry finding out that he lost some of his toes was heartbreaking.

I’m hoping that none of us will ever need the facility in the future. But I guess for prevention. For a start try to plant lots of aloe vera plant in your yard. It’s really soothing and helpful, I know that for sure. Have cream or ointment in your house always. The most important of all, know where the location of the burn facility in your area.

Stay safe and God bless!

May 21, 2015 by feyma

Dear Feyma: Needs advice on cheating husband!

Dear Feyma - Got a Problem? Ask Feyma! — Dear Feyma – Got a Problem? Ask Feyma!

Hi readers I got this email from a reader on my other blog. She emailed me privately and asking some advice for her niece’s problem. To be honest I just don’t know what to tell her. I am asking you guys’ advice on what to tell her. I’ve seen and heard too many stories of cheating spouses. I want you guys’ input to what I should advise and tell this lady on what to do. Some of the words in the emails were written in Tagalog. I tried to interpret in English as good and as accurate as possible.

Dear Feyma, I’m a reader of some of your blog. You don’t know me. But I will introduce my self. My name is Mindy. My family lives in Northern Luzon. I am an OFW in Kuwait. I am writing and needing advice for my niece. She lives there in the Philippines. She has been married to her husband for over 5 years now. They had a baby last year. Her husband is a seaman. He travels abroad, works on a ship.

My niece was shocked when her husband came home last March 2015. He didn’t give any money to my niece. He told my niece that he wants to separate. My niece asked him to just stay for their daughter’s sake. The husband don’t want to be married anymore. My niece told me that when her husband started going abroad his family said bad things about my niece. Her husband got help in going abroad financially from the parents of my niece. When my niece give birth to her baby the Papa & Mama of my niece paid the hospital and other bills, until now the husband did not pay them. After the husband went abroad many times, they bought house and car. My niece wants to sell the house and car and all the other properties now that he wants to separate. The husband told my niece that she won’t get anything. He even get all the jewelries and electronics gadgets that he gave to my niece.

It turns out now that the husband is having a relationship with the working student that was helping my niece while she was pregnant. That working student was sent by the parents of the husband. My niece found out the relationship when she accidentally open the private email of the husband because they share a laptop. The husband forget to log out. My niece saw all the emails. He denied but my niece showed him the email. He still denies. The husband abandoned the baby now.

My niece was just so shocked that she doesn’t know what to do. What should my niece do? Salamat sa payo (advice). I will just wait for your reply. Sincerely, Mindy.

Honestly I’ve been hearing too many stories like this. It even happened to our neighbor before it’s the lady that works abroad, similar situation the lady went abroad to work in the Middle East. When she gets home the husband already had someone on the side, so they separate went back abroad and later the lady end up marrying an OFW that she met there in the Middle East. Others too, the lady who works abroad found someone there (abroad) and later the lady will separate to the husband here and she moves in later to her lover abroad.

Too many stories that probably you hear or it happens to someone you know. I want to hear what would you guys advice if it happens to someone you know? I will pass you guys message to Mindy.

I really appreciate any advice given to Mindy or to those readers that were just shy to share here.

March 26, 2015 by feyma

Death: A subject that’s mostly avoided in the household!

I was just browsing the news here in the Philippines. I came across a story of a former actress that died due to cancer. Her hubby was interviewed and he really said that he is lost now after losing his wife. They’ve been married for more than 3 decades now. By the way, they got married at a very young age. So really, as if they both grow up and matured together. That’s the reason why they’re had a very close relationship.

It really got me thinking because she died still a fairly young age. When the husband said that “he is lost without her”. I can’t blame him for saying that statement. When we first came here to lived, I can really see Bob will say that similar lines, because I know that Bob will have a hard time surviving without me. I’m not exaggerating it but that’s just the truth with us. Bob would really get lost if I went ahead of him. Even my immediate family or his immediate family will say that too. They know because if I was out of the house for a few hours Bob will be antsy. I’m not sure if part of the reason because we never been apart for a long time (days) in the States before. He is used to having me at the house all the time. He works at home pretty much since the early years of our marriage. I’m happy to say that he is getting better about it now. For the past few years now he is good already.

Bob and Feyma at Lemlunay Resort in Sarangani

When I first arrived in the US, Bob and I really talked about death. At first it caught me off guard. When he explained to me that we have to talk about it since all my family lives far away from us. He has to know what do I want if something happened to me there. Do I want my body be shipped here or be buried there? I told him not to spend the money on sending my body here, I want to be buried there since at that time we’re living there. When we first moved here, that’s one of the things we talked about too. I asked him the same questions if something happened to him does he wants his body be shipped there, he said no need, he wants to be buried here. Our kids know that too.

Me and my friends were together for our summer party there. We talked about that similar subject. Some had the same reaction (the newbie there) as I had before, mostly that were already there for a long time were so open about talking about the topic. But it got all of us friends to open our minds when one of our friend died, she was hit by a car and died instantly. She lives just a few blocks away from us. Her son stayed at our house almost everyday to play with Chris. Luckily she already had a Will made. Everything went smoothly after she passed. She states in her Will that she wants to be cremated. It goes on the will that she wants her ashes be distributed in her property in Luzon, if I remember. Her husband and her son came to the Philippines to do what she said. Bob and I were lucky enough to be visited by her son when they came here.

Honestly, us that have kids we really had to talk and have a “Will” made by the lawyer. Really at the early age we should have it done. I think with the internet nowadays people are already open about death. It’s not taboo to talk about death anymore.

For you expats here in the Philippines, if something happen to you are you wanting to ship your body to the place you’re from? Or do you just want to be buried here? Is it important to you to be brought back to your birthplace? Feel free to say what you think.

Cheers!

March 19, 2015 by feyma

Happiness & sadness!

When you’re reading this post my son Aaron is on his way traveling to the USA. He started his journey last night (Wednesday). He left Davao at 10:15 pm, and arrived in Manila at a little after midnight. He will be in Manila for a few hours, then he will be starting his journey to the USA today Thursday (today) here in the Philippines. He will be arriving in Portland, Oregon (Thursday there in that part of the world) almost 24 hours after he left Manila .

This trip, it all started almost 2 years ago. My mother-in-law got seriously ill. Aaron at that time was just a few months shy of his high school graduation. Part of his high school graduation gift, Bob and I decided on sending him to the USA to see his grandma and bond with her. When we talked to Aaron about our plan, we got a big “NO” from him. So Bob and I didn’t push him, we just dropped the subject, sort of mentioning once in awile. 6 months after, Aaron decided that he was ready. He told us that he wanted to visit his granny by June. He was just few months shy of his 17th birthday. So we gathered lots of his papers for the travel plan. We found out that there was so much stuff to do for him since he will be traveling alone and underage. When we went to some Philippine government agency for some paper work, Aaron got frustrated. As usual everything was so slow. Just to get something you will be standing in line for literary hours at a time.

The many faces of Aaron Martin

He told us then that he wants to wait to travel after his 18th birthday. Less hassles. So after his 18th birthday, we then started gathering his papers. We went to Manila for his passport renewal from the US embassy. Apply some local paper work. Finally it was finished a few weeks ago. So we started looking for cheap tickets. We also thought that he will be traveling around the month of April or May. The tickets for April and May were much more expensive. When we tried to get good tickets, this week is really the best price ticket to travel already. Bob saw a cheap ticket a week or so ago. We thought that it will still be okay to wait. When we tried to book, it’s already full. Luckily we got another cheaper ticket. We got him a round trip ticket. He will be there for a little over 7 months. If he wants to extend he will try to re-book the ticket again for later return, which will incur a fee of course. I’m sure we will pay some for that.

He is really excited to go and see his Granny. It’s been a few years since he last saw her. They already made plans on what to do there. They will be seeing Bob’s extended family there from different States. This will be a good memory maker for both of them to last Aaron a lifetime. We know he will be okay there. This is Aaron’s first time ever being away from us for a long time. It will be hard for all of us here at the house and him too. But it will be good for him to experience and start a new life away from us. I’m not worried about it because he is in good hands with his Granny being there for him. Thank you Mother for taking Aaron and loving him. Bob and I really appreciate that very much.

To you my dear Aaron: Enjoy your stay with your Granny. Have fun exploring the land that you were born and grow up with until the time we left. Enjoy bonding with your cousins and family there. Don’t forget to see the people that we used to hangout with there before. We love you so much son. It’s going to be hard on all of us but we are so happy for you at the same time. Tears are flowing already from me hon while writing this post. I love you forever and beyond.

Message from Dad: Aaron, have a wonderful trip! This will be a big learning experience for you. The learning will start right away as you embark on your first time traveling alone, and it will continue as you get reintroduced to the land of your birth. I am sad to see you leaving, but I am also happy that you will go back to the USA and experience life there. I am happy that you can have some time to re-connect with my culture and with my side of the family. You are a good kid, and I love you dearly, son! Bon voyage!

March 12, 2015 by feyma

A big reminder to any traveler!

It’s been a big news here right now about a lady (Mary Jane) from here in the Philippines was on death row in Indonesia for drug trafficking a 2.6 kilo grams of heroin. Supposed to be she was just asked by a friend to carry that stuff for her. She must trusted that friend so much to carry that stuff for her. She’s paying the big price now (and her family too) for not asking the friend of what’s inside the package and for not opening the package in-front of the friend.

The family especially her kids begged the president here in the Philippines to help. I think right now the Indonesian government hold off the execution by firing squad because of the appeal of the Philippine government. The Philippine government hopes that the Indonesian government will sentence her to life imprisonment. Her 2 kids even traveled to Indonesia to visit her. I guess she was in jail already from early 2010.

Mary Jane in Court

Honestly, I’ve seen reality shows on TV about “Locked Up Abroad”. Really its similar to Mary Jane’s situation. Most of them, they were locked up for life, some were sentence to death. Others were also let go and sent home to the country they’re from. But it’s really seldom that will let go in jail just a few years, most of them were in jail for 10 or more years before they get freed.

I’m just hoping for the best for Mary Jane. If she’s innocent I hope she will get justice she mostly deserved. For the sake of her family especially her kids. But if she’s guilty, well, she should also be locked up I guess like those others. I know it’s hard, but she has to pay the consequences of her actions. I’m sure the person that sent that package probably washed her hands already and let Mary Jane be the fall guy. That would be hard on her, her freedom was taken in just a blink of an eye. I’m not sure if she’s being naive or just being stupid or being force to do it. Do you know of someone having similar situation with Mary Jane. Please feel free to share your thoughts.

I can really see Bob’s point before whenever we went home here for a visit here in the Philippines. If a friend would ask us to bring something for their family here. Bob would always tell me to get my friend’s stuff and we will be the one to pack in our suitcase. That we would not accept any sealed package that we don’t know what’s inside. Luckily my friends shared the same thoughts.

Now that Aaron is getting ready to go to the States soon. We are also telling him not to bring or even touch any package from anyone he will be meeting at the airport. We even told him to not be watching someone’s backpack or luggage at the airport (I guess just use common sense). He told us that he will be traveling light. He just wants a small backpack safely for his documents and a pair of clothes, extra shirt or two, maybe to change during the flight. He already talked to his Granny to prepare for a clothes shopping when he gets there. He told her that he is not bringing lots of stuff. He just doesn’t want to be hanging around too long time at the luggage claim area.

Good luck to everyone that’s traveling. Stay safe!