I had an email from somebody and wanting some advice. I will not reveal who the person is. I know they read this site and get lots of info here.

Here’s the email:

“My son married a young lady from your country just two weeks after her arrival. I realize she hasn’t been in the States very long, but I’m wondering how long should it take for her to be happy here. She cries a lot and doesn’t seem very glad to be with my son. They are living with my ex-husband and he told me she Sleeps in a different bedroom. That is strange to me. She seems emotionless in all things except grieving over her family back home. Her mother has refused to talk to her which I’m sure has increased her guilt. My daughter in law talks to her sister and brother often but her mom will not. Maybe we should not have done this but we sent money to them in February to start a store in their home. As long as my daughter-in-law was there the store was doing great. Now 4 months after she came to the US the store isn’t doing well and they are pushing for money. $2300 was sent and my daughter-in-law sent me pictures of the renovation and products bought. She did an excellent job getting them started to be self sufficient. Anyway I’m not sure if my daughter-in-law’s guilt is hindering her relationship with my son or if she even likes him at all (from my observation). My daughter-in-law and I talked via email for a year before she came. My son had asked me to travel with him to meet her and her family. And I did. They were very gracious to us. Her mom was wanting my son to move there to the Philippines but his job is here in the US. My son and my daughter-in-law started going to a Phil-Am church in the area where my son lives. On Friday nights they have bible study but my son doesn’t go with her (which I feel he should go to support her) Do you think her family is trying to manipulate her for her to come back. They do tell her to come back all the time. Her mother tried to talk her out of coming over to the US this past year but she was determined to come only to be crying all the time.”

Homesick Filipina

Firstly I do understand what homesickness felt like. I’ve been there and done that. I lived in the States for 10 long years and away with my family here in the Philippines. But I made a commitment goes with the sacrifices to be with my husband. Really when my homesickness strikes before, even late at night Bob and his parents helped me out in dealing with it. I was so happy, humbled and privileged by the commitment they showed me. Bob’s parents, they really open their house late at night for me to go there and just pour my heart out crying to them. They really listened and understood my feelings. They were there for me all the way. It was really difficult at first, but later on I tried to find ways to conquer my homesickness. I tried hanging out with new friends that had been in the States for a long time. Just at their houses for a few hours, just talking and cooking the food that we missed from here in the Philippines. It really helped out a lot. Don’t just sit at home and feeling sorry for yourself. As much as you can, try to learn how to drive immediately after arriving at the places of your husband.

Honestly reading and understanding the email, there is more to it than what the daughter-in-law was telling to the mother-in-law about. I’m pretty sure before she went to the States, her and her husband talked about her living in the States with him. I’m sure the husband told her that they had to live in the States since his job was there. How are they going to survived with their daily needs if none of them will work. It baffles me that the husband and wife are not staying in the room. Too many “why” in our minds right now.

That’s the reason why I wrote this article for you guys to help the lady out with the dilemma she had concerning her daughter-in-law. You guys are good in giving advice here. So here again another family problem that needs to have some solutions before they divorce or hurting each other physically and emotionally.

As always guys, thank you again for your advice and nice comment here.

Cheers!

A week or so ago I read something on the news on Sunstar Cebu. That a daughter killed her dad, she saw that her dad was physically abusing her mom. I guess it’s been going on for quite some time already, before when the dad abused the mom all the kids will just hide somewhere. But that night when the dad came home drunk and physically abusing his wife and he was trying to cut her leg with a saw. I think when the kid saw what the dad was about to do to her mom, it was to much for her. She really acted quickly to save her mom. I can’t blame her. Can you imagine seeing your loved being hurt by your other loved one?  That must be so traumatic for this kid.

I read it in SunStar Cebu

It really reminds me of a family member of mine. It’s hard to see and hear what happened. Problem is nothing we can do about it if the people that’s involved would not and never want to press charges against the person. All of us would want to do something but the involved people were just turning their backs on the problems. It’s really a heart breaking to all of us that wanted to do something. I’ve seen those kids in my family circle that they were already in chaos. Some of them we sent for counselling and rehabilitation. Some of them don’t want to be on counselling, they think they are a shrink to be there. We even told them that it’s not like that at all. We even said that Bob and I went to counselling in the States trying to help Chris on his disability. But for no avail they ‘re not listening. Enough of helping out.

Squatter Kids in the Philippines

The reason I wrote this post was because my niece had a project report in school. They had to go to the poor or the squatters area and ask what’s the life now being a single parent, marriage at a young age and having kids. Anyway, one of the people that we knew that fits the description that my niece was wanting to interview was our laundry lady before. She had a live-in guy the father of her kids. Which he is not really helping out a lot in raising these kids. So a few days ago my niece went there to interview our laundry lady. When she got there to their house our laundry lady, she’s not home, only her 2 young kids were home ages 10 and 7. Those kids already knew my niece, they come to our house sometimes to play with Nicole. So they were very comfortable welcoming my niece inside the house and they were chatting with her while waiting for their mom to come home.

The older kid out of those 2 opened up to my nice that she almost killed her dad just recently. So my niece really got interested with what the kid was talking about. Really we cared for those kids too. So the kid continued on saying that her dad came home one night and drunk and just starting a fight with their mom. At first they just didn’t bother to see what was going on because they thought it was just a typical fight every time he’s drunk. But I guess the daughter saw that the dad was kicking the mom. So the kid told my niece that her dad did not stop right away, then she said that if her dad did not stop kicking her mom she’s not hesitant to stab her own dad. Can you imagine if the dad did not stop kicking the mom? Something bad could end up with them that night. My niece told me that the way the kid was talking about the kid is not scared to stab the dad. It would be a sad situation for the mom to be in. She’s a nice lady and if she will not do something about it she will be sorry later.

When the mom came here to our house to do some ironing for us, I told her that she has to do something with her husband. I told her that being a parent our responsibility should be to protect our kids. Not to put them in danger. I’m really hoping for the best for the family member that I have and my laundry lady. I hope they will not go through what the kid in Cebu went through.

Today while sitting in our bedroom watching TV and contemplating on what to eat for our lunch. My maids were already asking me if  they could just get roasted chicken (letson manok)  for the kids. We usually eat meat with veggies for lunch. But today my helpers were cleaning the kitchen and its already late for them to cook lunch. So they suggested letson manok. I told them okay, letson manok it is OK for lunch.

Bob on the other hand had something in mind for lunch. He was asking me if ever he wants something for lunch would I get it for him and he said he is really going to share it with me. Hmm, it sounded strange to me because it was the first time he sounded the way he did. Plus I don’t have to ask him what I would want to eat, I can eat what I want here and so does he. I know why it sounded strange to me. You know what he wants to eat for lunch? It’s the fried day old chicks on a skewer. Yikes!

Chick on a skewer

Geez, it made my stomach turn upside down. I’m pretty sure that food is popular in some areas here in the Philippines. They will not sell if it’s not, I guess. They were selling that food in one of the malls here in Davao City, not far from our house. When I first saw it I had to blink twice to really make sure if I saw it right and kinda said out loud to my niece “a fried chicks in a skewer?”  Both of us were totally in shock. I didn’t bother to ask because I just don’t want to look at the chicks in a skewer. I might puke in front there.  I could never imagin myself eating that thing.

Check out these fried chicks in the video below:

Anyway, Bob was teasing me that he wanted that food for lunch and he’s happy to share it with me. I told him thank you very much and I will pass for today. I told him he should ask the kids to get it for him and see their reaction. So first he asked Aaron and Jared. Bob didn’t tell them yet what he wanted for them to get for him, he just told them that he wanted some lunch and he will share it with them and he wants that the two (Aaron & Jared) of them to the mall and get it for him. They said in unison “Oh sure we will get it for you”. So when Bob told them what he wanted (The fried chicks in a skewer) to eat and they can also have some too. Man oh man, the 2 boys immediately said “NO” we will never get that and never eat that too. Reason for the 2 boys not to eat the chicks, they said they’re feeling sorry for the chicks. They told me how could anyone eat those chicks. Bob asked the rest of the kids (Jean, Nicole and Chris) they refused too. Ha ha ha same reasoning as Aaron and Jared.

When talking to the kids I remember then when a friend brought a lechon biik (roasted piglet) in our house a few years ago. The kids were younger then. Aaron was about 7 or 8 years old at that time.  When he and the siblings saw the roasted pig on top of the table with an apple on the mouth, they did not eat the meat that night. They just settled for something else. We asked them why they don’t want to eat the meat? Same answers now and then, ”feeling sorry” for the pig. But they are okay with chicken and turkey. They told us a lot of times that only chicken and turkey for eating, the rest are pets. Maybe I was thinking while in the States the kids never saw a whole pig in our table in a lot of the occasions that we celebrated there, only chicken and turkey.

Aaron until now doesn’t want to eat in front of the fish with the eyes open. Whenever we will have whole grilled fish here in the house with the eyes still in it, he doesn’t want to be in the kitchen. He will eat his lunch or dinner somewhere far from us. But the other kids were okay now with the fish. But still not totally okay with the letson baboy in front of them.

Anyway, if you already try eating the fried chicks, hope you had fun eating it. I think that and the balut I will have to pass it for now or forever.

Have fun tasting on some weird food here in the Philippines!

I got this email a few days ago. Not even half way reading it I knew it was a scam. I was getting ready to delete it, but thought in a few minutes it’s a good topic to write here. Having said that, how many people do you think will help this girl out?

Here’s the email:

***I’m writing this with tears in my eyes, my family and I came down here to (Buckingham shire) United Kingdom for a short vacation,unfortunately we were mugged at the park of the hotel where we stayed all cash,credit card and mobile phone were stolen off us but luckily we still have our passports with us. We’ve been to the Embassy and the Police here but they’re not helping issues at all the bad news is our flight will be leaving in less than 8-hrs from now but we’re having problems settling the hotel bills and the hotel manager won’t let us leave until we settle the bills.  Am freaked out at the moment! I’ll need your help (LOAN) financially of 2,500 Pounds. I promise to make the refund once we get back home. Please let me know if you can help and i need you to keep checking your email because it’s the only way i can reach you. Regards, Annie ***

Scam? I think so!

I was thinking, out of how many people this person was sending this message to. Do you think one of them tried to help her out? As you know, being human the feeling sorry for these people kicks in. Really, if they sent out these email to the old folks, they will believed in it. Maybe some of them will send some money. As you know sometimes on the spam some emails that goes to your account half of it the names were of your friends. The older folks will really believed that its their friends that are in need and will help out. Little did they know that they are scammed already. Problem is some of them will even give their credit card number or bank account number and they end up with zero balance on their account. Sad but could happen though.

It really reminds me of the scam letters those Nigerian people were sending a few years back. It was even on the news and one of  those night time shows like 20/20, Prime Time or  others. It was a big scamm then. I think this is the new thing now. They will email you and ask you personally. Gosh, I was hit by one of those before. At first i thought it’s one of our readers here. That one she said she’s stuck in the Middle East and  can’t get out until she pays the said amount of money. The name was so familiar because she’s my friend on one of those friendly sites. Later she found out that someone’s using her name and she makes a big post that it was not her. I believed her because she’s not that type of person.

Dear Friend, I want to scam you!

Right now something similar like these were going on here in the Philippines. The certain number will text you and asking you to send load to their number.  And they want high denomination like 300pesos or more, they will even say that they had an accident and they want to talk to you. Hmm, they will get load from you and also get lots of your information and can even get to your bank account. I’m pretty sure they know how to talk you out of giving your money to them. Another scam here, a certain number will text you and they will say that you won a lottery on certain company. And have to call them before you claim the price. I know for sure if you won something from some company, definitely they will be the one to call you.

It must be a big money making thing. People somehow giving money or else this thing will not continue on. It’s sad that most of the people that will be falling for these kind of scammed were the elderly. They will be wipe out with their savings and end up with nothing.

So with the active internet scamming right now, be very careful on who you are dealing with. Just a reminder you guys.

Cheers!

I was helping my niece take care of some orders on one of our site. We were packing the packages that would be shipped out after our flower guy comes here to our house to deliver the arranged flowers. It was just a simple and regular day for us. Packed the package good in the box and taped it good as well. One of the boxes that we prepared would be a box for an arranged flowers with a vase securely taped inside the box. So while we are waiting for our flower guy, me and my niece were chatting a little bit with the helpers. They really got curious on all the stuff that we were doing. They said they didn’t see flowers yet being shipped out inside the box. Like watching them, they could never believe it. So me and my niece Glenda just told them to wait and see.

Floral Arrangement

Like less than half an hour later our flower arranger guy showed up with a few bouquets of flowers in his hand. Seeing the looks of my helpers confirmed it what they were telling us. When Glenda was holding the bouquets, they asked our flower guy that if the flowers were real flowers? Our flower guy told them that yeah it’s really real. They argued with him that it’s not. So my flower guy took 2 petals and gave each one to both of them and he cut it in front of them using his fingers. Still they didn’t believe him. I had to tell them, for them to believe it. They thought to have the arrangement that my flower guy did, it had to be fake flowers to do it. They never really realized before that nice arrangement can be done with real flowers. Just like what one of my helper comment she saw lots of the flowers in their neighborhood but never in her mind that the real flower arrangement could be that beautiful. See, she lived in Bukidnon with lots of flowers and vegetables growing. It’s really cute that they are so innocent and still learning. It’s fun to be teaching them. Really both my helpers were not so exposed in the city. My helper that came form Bukidnon lived near Father Franco, the Italian priest that we knew in BUDA that has big farm there. He grew all the stuff that they ate there including rabbits. I tasted rabbit for the first there at Father’s place. I will tell you more about it on my blog.

My other helper, she’s from Sarangani Province. She’s half Bla’an and half Ilonga. It’s fun listening to her when she’s talking to her family. I guess by listening to her I miss my childhood classmates in the farm. I had many Bla’an classmates during my grade school days. It really brought back memory lane for me. Her place that she’s from, some of my family resides in that area too. So it was fun knowing my helpers.

Here at the house, the 2 of them had so much fun learning their firsts here. First time seeing the fancy washing machine, the microwave oven, the kitchenaide mixer, bread machine, really lots of my gadgets in my kitchen and also seeing the different ingredients and spices they saw for the first time here at my house. Of course first time seeing some of the menu that I cooked here and tasted it too first time. Both of them wants to go to school later. Both of them were high school graduates. So that’s easier for them to enroll for college even just a few units per semester, or the weekend class here.

Same as always, I am hoping for the best for these girls. Like I told them always I would not want for them to be maid forever. They really need to finish up their studies and try to get a job of the field they were choosing. They still are young. Big things will come their way if they work really hard and aim what they want in life. Hopefully they will not get married this early and be sorry later. When Bob and I went outside the city proper a few weeks ago, I’ve seen and talked to young girls regretted of marrying at the early age and had kids early. They were sorry that they didn’t finish school and did not enjoy life. So I hope my helpers will not go to that path too.

Have a great day everyone!